Y Friday, December 26, 2008Y
argh. why why why.
12:15 AM
Getting a range of Bs has always been a norm ever since i've gotten into University, and it wasn't really very demoralizing for me since i've already convinced myself that i'm just a B- to B+ standard student. So what if my 8MCs studio got a B or B-, i don't really feel sad unless i see a C. But this time, it's different. I almost cried over that grade i got for my studio.Thinking back on the amount of work that i've put in for the project, and how i struggled on the path to an impossible mission. In the end, i made it through and made an impossible idea into reality. I thought it was pretty obvious that it was a great struggle for me to pull it through, but apparently, it wasn't. How silly of me to believe that it was a great project. Mr Christian even wanted to put my project in his book. Though it was cumbersome with the photoshoot and everything, deep in my heart i felt honoured that my teacher choosed my project. MY PROJECT, the lovely project that i've spent endless nights just to find a solution to make it into reality. For a moment, i was so proud of what i've done. I almost cried when my project was done. This time, the thought went through my mind that maybe i could get an A for this, even just an A- would be good enough. Reality smashed right onto my face: I got a B-.
This is the worst B- I've ever got. For the first time i really really feel that i can get a good grade, yet i've gotten a grade that is worse than my previous semesters. It was as if all that i've done was bullshit in the eyes of my tutors. TOTAL BULLSHIT. yes, it was foolish of me to believe i can do it this time, it was definitely mulfunction in my brain to even had that thought. Ridiculous and total insanity! now i'm more assured about my abilty. A lousy grade suits my ability. Maybe i'm just not cut out for industrial design. Why should i even bother to build my passion for it when it was SO APPARENT that it's not my cup of tea?
Let time flushes away all the disappointments and emotions that i'm feeling now, till my sky turns grey, so i no longer feel for my projects. As of the start of school, projects are assignments to be completed, not a part of me. it used to be like that, and it will continue to be.